I Wanna Go

Last night I had a nightmare in a nightmare. Yeah, like inception – nightmare.

I had this dream and in this dream I got a clear message saying that my man will die in a car crash on this date. Bam! I’m awake.
I was so terrified but I kept the vivid dream to myself. On that date, he was not with me and I’m feeling very nervous but still keep it to myself. I don’t know why but I tested him and he didn’t reply to me. Kept texting but no respond. I gave up. Later, I called him and he picked up and was sobbing.
“Baby, where are you? Why aren’t you picking up?”
“Baby, I’m sorry, I’m in the hospital.”
*heart throbbing, I begin to cry*
“I’m in Serindit Hospital.”
“Please hold on, I’m coming”
*I cried. But very calm.*
Went to see my mom asking where is the hospital and she said it’s in Mersing. I dont know why I didn’t even tell her. I still, keep it to myself.
Then asked my cousins who happen to go to Mersing that day for a lift.
Of course they were very happy along the road but me just bitter and very worried about him.
Tested him.
“Baby, hang in there yeah.”
“Baby, please can you tell my parents and uncles that I love them and won’t be seeing them for a very ling time”, he replied.
“I’m coming to you now baby, I love you.”
“I’m afraid I can’t baby bear. It’s ok. I know I have love you and I am glad that we love each other so dearly. Not seeing you now is better because I won’t be seeing you crying and I want you to be happy. I love you Siti Maryam.”
That time, I burst into tears and my cousins was puzzled.
“Please can you drive faster? My fiance is dying and I need to see him.” I said to them.

Mom woke me up before I could finish the dream.

To my dear Ameerul, please don’t you ever leave me that way. I am not ready. We have a lot of plans that involves our little ones, little apartment, our little family.


I wanna go wherever, whenever you wanna go wherever you wanna, I wanna go with you.

I love you Ameerul.

Lots of love,


It’s not gonna be long


One week of holiday clearly not enough.Been busy keeping up with my social life. Sleep in late every night (not complaining though) but I must tell you it is totally with it!
Seeing datuk everyday is always a pleasure. He is being himself – sweet, loving, funny and everything nice lah!
We were planning our life together and also, our lovely friends were discussing about our wedding.
Honestly, I am excited!

Toodles! Xx

Wedding bell rings!

I love him.

Lets’ call him – datuk 

Discussion between two families will be in Syawal (parents meeting) but I am surely feel  so excited! Well, honestly ayah is much more excited than I am. Why? He’s been searching wedding halls in JB – which I told him it has to be air-conditioned. Chill ayah! 

This post (and future posts) going to be my some kind of Wedding Journal *raised eyebrow*  which I would love for it to be in written, recorded and every moments captured. I want to remember each and every single thing that I, my family, my friends, datuk, datuk’s family and everyone have put efforts into our wedding. InsyaAllah.

That’s all for now,


Toodles! xx