*This post consists of pictures and some explanations which some of you finds it inappropriate. Carry on skip this one. This is my story and please, only good comments are allowed as this post will be read by Ameena Zahara … Continue reading
When you asked me this morning – B, what are you expecting when we get married? I was startled and don’t know what to respond. Of course I did changed the subject! You know me 🙂 After work, I called and you asked me again. The same question and totally in the right tone which I imagined earlier. And again, I changed the subject. But this time, you noticed. I know that I replied you in general – because I want to have a halal relationship with you and what not. But to be honest with you, I have the answer in my head all along. I know this would sounds cheesy but – there are no words to describe what I feel and what I expect to be married to you. It is very intimate (I know you and me are very intimate enough) which I, myself can’t even express or convey to you the real feelings. This evening, you made me promise to write to you my answer. I hope, by writing to you, it would definitely elaborate how I feel in the the right words.
To be loved by you is like the great feeling was sent by Allah to me. Everyday I feel so bless knowing that you will always be by my side no matter how high I stand and how low I crawl. Alhamdulillah. I didn’t even remember when did I first say to you that I love you. I know you remember 🙂 and I always try to shut you up every time you brought that story. Yes, I told you first. I was embarrassed before but little did you know I am proud for making the first move. What I know is, I remember I told myself – Maryam, he is definitely for keep! After that, you took my hands and we are here now engaged and another 219 days to be your Mrs. Yes, I looked at that apps everyday!
In our marriage, I expect that we would love each other like we are now. Like we were before when we was so young and naive. We would love like nobody is around us. We would love like when we were back in Manchester. My love to you will never fade and I hope you returning me with the same feeling. When we are married, I expect that we argue. Normal relationship got to have some argument. I am sorry to say that you are about to marry someone that have thousands of questions in her mind which need every answer, every clarification in any thing that she was told to do. She needs an explanation of why can’t she do this or that. And a little of advice my man, please have some logic answers and not a simple – because I said so!
Before I forget, I expect that we share EVERYTHING. I literally means everything from house chores to financially and to parenthood. Both of us has 50% shares in every single thing in our marriage life. Neither one is more nor less. I know we talked about this before and I have to repeat it again and again because I am terrified i I have to do (especially) house chores all by myself. I just can’t. Remember, we are in this together. I am your wife, not your maid. You are my husband and not my chauffeur. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. I am expecting equality in our marriage.
I expect that we could be more transparent to each other. Let the past live before us and move forward living in the present. I hope there will be no secrets between us. I promise I will be truthful to you and disclose anything in the future. You and me, we are one. You’ll understand what I mean when the time comes 😉 When we have children, I expect you are going to be the cool dad. I know you know that I am impatient and headstrong everything has to go my way or my way. If I ever lay my hands to our children (you know children need to get discipline), please come to me and hug me. Remind me that you are there and everything is going to be fine. Please tell the children I am cool too! Tell them I am fun as well! Hahaha.
To be near to our creator is the highest expectation that I look into our marriage. Please guide me to the right path. Guide me to be the best wife to you. I want our family to be near to HIM. Don’t you worry, I will definitely help you out on this. You know what?! No matter how good or bad our marriage is, I expect that we have our back looking out for each other. We are in this together. We choose to be together and you know I expect a lot of things for our marriage. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
If nothing else, I hope you know that I love you with every ounce of my being. I hope you realise your importance not only to me but to everyone who has been lucky enough to know you. I hope you know that when you are feeling down, I only ever strive for your happiness. I hope you remember that no matter what, I am here for you and I am fully intend on staying in your life for quite some time. I hope you recognise the fact that I appreciate and adore you without restraints, and that this will never change.
I love you.
I’ve reading about marriage tips lately and I am really in love with these advises:
– you are a team. it’s important to root for each other and remember that you’re playing for the same side.
– laugh. laugh as much as possible.
– communicate. talk to each other. turn off the tv and put down that smart phone.
– listen carefully. don’t interrupt. it’s important to be heard.
– go to bed angry. so many people advise against this, but i’m telling you, sleep. most likely you both need it and there’s nothing a good nights rest can’t help. discuss it in the morning over breakfast or coffee. most likely you won’t be as angry as the night before. you may not even remember what you were mad about.
– do your own thing and let him or her do theirs. have hobbies that your spouse has zero interest in. have some separate friends. it’s okay and will keep you happy, healthy and sane.
– don’t sweat the small stuff. it’s no fun being nitpicked.
– dance in the kitchen. trust me on this one.
– appreciate one another and tell each other so.
– travel. either to a different city, a different state or a different country. create memories together. you will never say, “oh i wish we never would’ve spent that money on that wonderful trip to mexico.”
– don’t compare your marriage to their marriage. ever. no relationship is the same and every relationship has issues.
– keep working on your marriage. think of your relationship as a house. you need to keep it clean, fix things that break and continue to make it a home, so it doesn’t start to fall apart.
– kiss often.
InsyaAllah I will take note on this and will come back to this post when I feel like smacking Ameerul’s head. LOLs joking ok people!
I found this word of advice from Dr Halina ‘s blog.
A good read:
Marriage is a school where you get the certificate before you start.
A school where you will never graduate.
A school without a break or a free period.
A school where no one is allowed to drop out.
A school which you will have to attend every day of your life.
A school where there is no sick leave or holidays.
A school founded by the Almighty:
1. On the foundation of love,
2. The walls made of trust,
3. The door made of acceptance,
4. The windows made of understanding.
5. The furniture made of blessings.
6. The roof made of faith.
Before you forget, you are just a student not the principal. The Almighty is the principal.
Even at times of a storm, don’t be unwise and run outside.
Remember this school is the safest place to be.
Never go to sleep before completing your assignments for the day.
Never forget the C-word, communicate, communicate, communicate with your classmate and with the Principal.
If you find something in your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate, remember your classmate is also just a student not a graduate. The Almighty is not finished with him/her yet, so take it as a challenge and work on it together.
Do not forget to study, study, study the Noble Book (the main textbook in this school).
Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way.
Sometimes you will feel like not attending class, yet you have to.
When tempted to quit find the courage and continue.
Some tests and exams may be tough but remember the Principal knows how much you can bear.
Still, it is one of the best schools on earth; joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day.
Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject.
After all the years of being theoretical about it, now you have a chance to practice it.
To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all.
Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse but remember: “This class doesn’t involve a person who is not permitted into it”! If you invite your mother or father or your friends to this class, or anyone who is not allowed to be there, you will fail the exam.
It is you who should attend and it is you who will pass.
Its your choice today:” build it or break it”.